Deep Fried Vegan: So here is why I do not eat meat. I try not to be a dick.

PartyBoyGeezy: You’re a dick to me all the time.

Deep Fried Vegan: I know you. That doesn’t count. I’ve never met a whole ton of animals. Why would I go up to them, say hello, and then break their necks to eat them when I have no reason to do that?

PartyBoyGeezy: Well, that doesn’t answer why you’re such a dick to me.

Deep Fried Vegan: It makes you stronger.

Big Lev: Morally, we are making the argument that in an ethical society, if you can avoid inflicting pain on these creatures, then what is the purpose? The female cows cry for weeks when their children are taken away. If I can avoid adding to that suffering, then I am happy to do so.

Gay Boy (AKA Joe Jensen): How do you know that plants don’t feel when you pull them out of the earth. Like carrots, potatoes, you cut right into them. In some ways, they are more alive than the animals. At least those animals are dead. They don’t feel any pain. Those root vegetables are literally being eaten alive when you are munching into them.

Deep Fried Vegan: Gay Boy makes a good point.

Big Lev: That’s blatantly ridiculous. Where do I start? Most fruits are grown for one year and they die. The point is that the fruit is eaten. That’s how they evolved. So that the seeds would be spread.

You cannot argue in good faith  that because I cannot prove the non existence of something (that plants don’t feel pain), that means it is not true. In other words, the lack of a control group does not mean something is not achievable, provable, or not worth achieving. What you cannot deny, however, is the pain and suffering of actual animals.

Gay Boy: And you cannot deny that in our current existence, when you take a dump, you aren’t allowing the seed to be spread. There’s suffering there. Besides, many studies show that plants feel the same amount of pain when being cut, or at least have the potential to feel that way.

Big Lev: You just admitted there is no way to control a study on the pain of plants. I agree with your argument.

But let’s look at another argument. The sheer amount of resources being dedicated to eating meat. While there is a homeless problem, wealth disparity problem, etc.

Makes you realize how inefficient animal products are. This doesn’t event show the amount of algae blooms, river pollution,  swine runoff, chicken shit, whatever.

As you can see, the generation of animal products utilize over half of all of the useable land and resources in the United States. All while we have a major land use problem and lack of land ownership in the Country. How is this not a bad thing? Statistically, you can prove it.

Gay Boy: I am not sure I can get enough protein to support my lifting regimen.

Big Lev: Who are you, the Rock? I haven’t died yet.

Captain: Look at the map!  LOOK AT MY MAP!!! absurd.

Gay Boy: Oh. I totally agree. I’m not saying that use of animal products is efficient. I’m arguing only that you cannot prove that plans feel pain differently than animals.

Deep Fried Vegan: Yeah, that’s true. But, it goes back to my first idea, why not try to be less evil? Less of a jerk to a bunch of things you’ve  never met, and never did anything to you. Next time, I’m giving my recipe for vegan meatballs:

Flag Man: That’s really nice. I can make an American flag out of it.

Eh Goddammit: Hey guys, maybe the best way to destroy capitalism is to eat a fully vegan diet? The use of fossil fuels, water consumption, pig and cow shit in the water, big food, chemicals, sure if you get rid of all of that, you are on the right track. I’m glad we discussed this!  I’m going to make this my mantra. 

PartyBoyGeezy: Fuck that. There’s no way simply eating vegan would make a difference…cars, big oil, no way!

Captain Kwig: Round two goes to Big Lev, due to absurd unproveable argument by Joe Jensen. Deep Fried Vegan gets a point for a delicious Vegan Dish. PartyBoyGeezy again gets zero points, and under-estimates reality. Veganism is potentially the only thing that each and every one of us could do as human beings to change something, or make a daily impact in our lives, in terms of the manner in which we consume. So basically PartyBoyGeezy is the biggest loser.