Lindsey Graham is the Third Biggest Douchebag in America

Lindsay Graham is an old school white southern GOP Senator. By definition that makes him a patriarchal, prejudice ridden, Trump licking, asshole.  Today, Lindsay Graham became so much more. He became the Third Biggest Douchebag  in America. Today, Graham followed a courageous presentation by a victim of sexual assault who could no longer keep quiet, with a blithering, pathetic overture. Sensing that his cause was losing, that the prosecutor the GOP had hired to ask questions was being too neutral, that the hearing was too focused upon the seriousness of the allegations levied and not focused enough on political shit-piling, Graham decided to lose his damn mind.  Looks like someone needs a Snickers Bar.

“To my Republican colleagues: if you vote ‘no,’ you’re legitimizing the most despicable thing that I have seen in my time in politics”

Ahh yes…if you vote no, you are delegitimizing the rights of privileged white catholic preppy school boys to drink until ralphing and then groping, choking, grinding, and boofing, whatever that means, on whatever 15 yr. old they can find. You are delegitimizing the right of these poor privileged boys to ruin lives, however they see fit, during high school and college, when it is their God given right to grow up, make mistakes, before reforming and preying every night with their little white babies and repressed wives.  Who cares if some girls get “upset” or “groped,” or “PTSD’ed (like that’s even a real thing). How else these boys supposed to mature and be the leaders of America we need them to be? It’s so unfair. It makes me want to cry (sniff sniff).

Then, Graham decides to share his expertise on rape:

“It’s been my understanding that if you drug women and rape them for two years in highschool, you probably don’t stop.”

So apparently Graham is not aware that most instances of sexual assault occur in situations where the victim knows the aggressor, goes unreported, and life goes on as if nothing happened. Apparently Graham has never heard of Brock Turner, who apparently is not capable of being guilty of sexually assaulting a drunk class mate because it only happened once.  Apparently Graham thinks it ok if you do it once, or twice, then stop, because if you were really a criminal you would not stop. White rich privileged men that do this once or twice, when young, are not criminals.

Pretty sure that a criminal defense lawyer, whose client was on trial for sexual assault, opened with, “Well gentlemen…holy crap there are ladies on this jury…didn’t know that was legal in this state. Well, people of the jury, see my client is innocent because I am defending someone accused of one time rape only and my understanding is that the people that do this type of stuff do not stop at once or twice.  So I rest my argument.”  Yeah, that person would be found guilty. Except in South Carolina apparently.

Again, just more examples of the American, privileged, white king makers in this country showing pure, vitriolic disdain for anyone who would try to upset the status quo that privileged white men get to do whatever, whenever, whoever they want.

In all of this, what’s important, is that we protect poor Bart O’Kavanaugh. His life has been ruined if he cannot serve on the Supreme Court. He only gets to serve on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals for the rest of his life, with the same lifetime pension. He can barely afford his million dollar house! It’s SO UNFAIR – I’M GOING TO POINT MY FINGER ANGRILY AT YOU MEAN WOMAN DIANE FEINSTEIN!  I SHOULD BE EATING DINNER RIGHT NOW! YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN I’M HUNGRY!

Thank you Lindsey Graham. I now have good reason to dislike you other than the fact that you are smug, rich, unapologetic, and have cruised by on taxpayer dollars in the same job for 30 years. Also, where the fuck were you to make impassioned arguments for my mistakes as a young, white, privileged prep-boy. I really could have used some impassioned argument about the “most despicable” application of justice “I have ever seen” back when I was getting a one-day in school suspension for plagiarizing in sophomore math class.

Side note from Joe Jensen: Before Dr. Ford’s courageous testimony followed by Lindsey Graham’s shameful defense of white privilege) Joe Jensen pointed out that yes — while we are focusing on Bart O’Kavanaugh and the importance of a Supreme Court nomination — do not forget that cops are still coming up with new ways to murder people and get away with it:

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